gentle parenting — Blog

Your Parenting Approach is Doing More Harm Than Good

I remember the first time I heard the term ‘conscious parent’

What is that? Is it good or bad?

I knew helicopter parenting was bad, along with snowplow parenting.

Attachment parenting was…very polarizing.

Gentle parenting was the new kid in town, vague but cool.

Fast forward 7 years and I’m well versed in the merits and pitfalls of all the popular parenting approaches. And there are a lot.

Now I’ve become highly skeptical of approaches and wary of anything labelled parenting advice in general. While their books, blogs, podcasts and social media accounts feel like every answer you’ve been waiting for - I’d argue their patented approach often does more harm than good.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and discouraged in a world where it seems everyone has this parenting thing figured out, have a read

Bedtime Stories: Why reading is a powerful part of the bedtime routine for children

In our 7 years of parenting, reading books as part of our bedtime routine has been undeniable. From my work and conversations with friends, I know this is true for most parents. This is not the result of savvy PR; reading books has earned its place by being the perfect bedtime ritual based solely on its merits. Sure, parents are often told the importance of reading for literacy, vocabulary and instilling a love of reading, but these benefits have nothing to do with the lasting popularity and success of this bedtime tradition.

Kids are like Instant Pots

Several months in, I had hoped my JKer would have been more…settled. Pulling her home in the wagon with a snack had helped - in that it delayed the explosion of feelings until we were off school property and safely within the confines of home. How could I make this challenging time with both my kids more manageable, I pondered. Maybe I could try setting up an activity on the table for when they arrive home? Maybe I should check in with her teachers? Maybe she needs more movement - what physical play could we do?...

My reverie was broken by the beep as I was summoned to perform the final and most dramatic step of the Instant Pot cooking process. I switched the valve from sealing to venting and stood back and marvelled at the loud eruption of steam - not unlike my 4-year-old at 3:30 PM

That’s when it hit me - my child is like an Instant Pot.

This metaphor is so good it has literally made parenting easier! Let me break it down for you:

Reality baking shows and accepting my failures as a gentle parent

The other day I found myself crying over and over during a reality baking show.

The past week my 6-year-old has been quite prickly. She’s picking fights with her sister. She’s been less cooperative and easily combative. Getting ready for bed, getting ready for school or leaving the house anytime, has become quite fraught. I’ve been doing ‘all the things’ reducing separation, quality playtime, welcoming feelings, holding boundaries, controlling the environment etc. But not much has changed.

My Imperfect Parenting Journey: for anyone who’s failed at gentle parenting

Something always felt off about this industry and I could never quite put my finger on it. I suppose I didn’t want to see it. Because I wanted to believe, like most, that if I followed all the tips and hacks shared in perfectly curated videos that I’d do it! That I’d be the calm, got it together mom who was the perfect blend of playful and firm, who didn’t need any help, who meal planned but was also spontaneous, who worked but not too much, with well behaved kids who ate vegetables and never watched tv and always said please and thank you, who were wild and creative but also obedient (but not too obedient) and of course slept through the night.

Parenting, Self care, Village of SupportHeather SandeSeptember 9, 2022motherhood, imperfect parenting, gentle parenting

Looking for something in particular? Search ‘sleep’ or ‘highly sensitive’ for the resources you need!

That’s when it hit me - my child is like an Instant Pot.

This metaphor is so good it has literally made parenting easier! Let me break it down for you: