boundaries — Blog — Heather Sande

Reality baking shows and accepting my failures as a gentle parent

The other day I found myself crying over and over during a reality baking show.

The past week my 6-year-old has been quite prickly. She’s picking fights with her sister. She’s been less cooperative and easily combative. Getting ready for bed, getting ready for school or leaving the house anytime, has become quite fraught. I’ve been doing ‘all the things’ reducing separation, quality playtime, welcoming feelings, holding boundaries, controlling the environment etc. But not much has changed.

The Feel Good Screen Time Strategy

“We watched no TV today!” I’d announce to my husband as if waiting for a gold star. It certainly felt like a massive accomplishment, 12 hours of parenting 2 kids under 4 in the middle of winter. But there was no gold star, just my own sense of achievement or sometimes my own sense of utter exhaustion and simmering resentment as my needs we relegated to the bottom of the list yet again.

Screentime is an excellent illustration of the modern parenting dilemma. It comes down to this equation:

Tired parents in need of support
A lifetime's worth of highly captivating and addictive children’s entertainment
Constant reminders of the dangers of screentime

It’s a lose/lose, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

What I Learned While Being Sick and Parenting

Six plus year of parenting and our household had managed to avoid the dreaded HFM (hand foot and mouth) disease. When our streak came to an end two weeks ago, it wasn’t due to my daycare attending 3-year-old, no, I was the one to succumb. I figured I’d bounce back quickly, that the worst would be over in 24 to 48 hours. In reality, 13 days later, I’m still recovering.

Being sick for so long gave me a lot of time to just think. As humans, we are always trying to make sense of life. Why did this happen to me? What is the point of this? What did I learn? And while I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, I have a few takeaways to share.

Looking for something in particular? Search ‘sleep’ or ‘highly sensitive’ for the resources you need!